IRISH CALLINA STORY

IRISH CALLINA  STORY

To me there is nothing wrong with your desire to get married to someone who is also gay or lesbian, maybe have kids together, and yet both remain in the closet. This is nothing new. It is definitely not cowardly or somehow not being true to yourself. It is very considerate for you to want to find someone who understands what you're going through and shares your view that having desires for the same sex is normal. That's just cool!



To just say that everyone should blindly come out of the closet to everyone is not smart, and is potentially dangerous particularly for those people for whom career, family, livelihood, safety, security, social status, religious support, living situation, desire for children and marriage, and future goals are very real considerations. The reasons to stay in the closet are endless. This is particularly true for people who are at least a little bit bisexual and have desires that can fluctuate as you get older. If you come out of the closet and are not 100% gay, then it could be a problem later. It's like your sexual orientation, if different than hetero, is your new identity to everyone else once you come out of the closet. That's just the sad reality for so many people. Once someone comes out of the closet it is especially difficult to put it behind them if their desires fluctuated later. It's not like just moving away to somewhere new and starting over. Doesn't work that way.



So my opinion is for anyone wanting to live a closeted life and yet still get married, that's fine as long as the other person knows and is okay with it. A lesbian woman and gay man getting together to enjoy marriage and children and happiness together is perfect to me. To me it's perfectly safe and sound for a gay man and lesbian woman to meet, marry and have kids. Crazy as it may sound, there's a chance you could have a great life together and wind up falling in love!



My wife and I are both attracted to members of the same sex. Neither of us want to be "out" because of numerous reasons. For us, it's been a win-win situation and we've fallen much more deeply in love in the years we've been together. We still have occasional desires to get out and meet others but we haven't in a long time now. Maybe we will in the future more, but right now we're having too much fun as a couple. I will say that it's still really cool and gives us a good laugh (and good loving later!) when we're out in public and catch the other one staring at some good looking guy or girl. I can't describe how reassuring, comforting, self-revealing, and even a bit sexy when spouses know about each other and can both understand and accept the desires they both have. I won't bore you with my situation and I only bring it up because I wanted you to know that there are others out there like you! We have a new (little) blog about our life if anyone is interested in reading about others in this situation.



So my advice for what it's worth is for you to stay in the closet for now. See if you can find someone who shares your views for the future. See where things wind up going! Have fun along the way. Life is not meant to be endured, but enjoyed!